


Is it gay or autocorrect?

by stagsnqueens



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale gets a mobile phone, Crowley and Aziraphale, Crowley teaches him to use it, Crowley uses u and it confuses Aziraphale because, Freeform, I know what I want, Instagram, It was gonna be a one shot in my one shot work but it didn’t fit the one chapter thing?, M/M, Other, Phone Calls, Snapchat, Texting, This is crack, and they don’t use it, big dumbass energy, drunk texting sksk, i think, no beta we die like men, no there isn’t shut up, obviously, post apocawasnt, shared, still very vague on that term, stuff ensues, there’s a vague sense of plot, they have one (1) brain cell, they’ll be like tiny one shots u feel?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 04:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19244233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stagsnqueens/pseuds/stagsnqueens
Summary: In which Aziraphale gets a mobile phone and Crowley shows him how to use it.





	1. New phone who dis?

“Angel?” Crowley circled into Aziraphale’s back room “are you—what are you doing?” His eyes fell on the angel fiddling with a mobile phone.

 

“Hello dear” Aziraphale mumbled, eyes fixed on the object in his hands. 

 

“What’s—why have you got a phone?” Crowley leant against the doorway, studying the angel curiously 

 

“Well—the man at the shop said it would be very useful” Aziraphale twisted the thing around in his hands before declaring a little dejectedly “I can’t even get it to work” he looked up at Crowley who was resigned to just watching until Aziraphale raised his brows and flashed a smile that The Demon had never been able to resist*. 

 

*not even once, it’s a well known fact (and prophecy curtesy of Agnes Nutter).

 

“Fine” Crowley groused, slumping into the chair next to Aziraphale’s desk “give it here” he took the phone and tried to avoid his angels bright gaze. 

 

Crowley helped Aziraphale set up his new phone, download all the apps he wanted and add any contacts he needed. This ended up just being Crowley, neither of them mentioned this fact. Crowley hadn’t realised, until the next day, that this may have been the best and worst decision of his life. 

 

 


	2. Is that you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale’s first text, Crowley’s first text too (but no one needs to know that).

Crowley’s phone buzzed, the first buzz ever as he’d never turned his mobile phone on before. He thought, If Aziraphale had one it was only right for him to get one too. So they were able to stay In contact...and such. Crowley being Crowley (and a demon) picked up on technology very quickly, quicker than his angel at least*. 

*this was after 7 hours, 42 YouTube videos and 5 angry phone calls.

 

_ ‘Hello   ?’  _

_ ‘Hi, can I help u angel?’ _

_ ‘Crowley? Is that you?’  _

_ ‘Yes Az it’s me’  _

_ ‘Jolly good’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! You look lovely today, new haircut?


	3. Hey, Siri!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maybe Siri just doesn’t get along with angels, or maybe this angel is a dumbass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is way more crack filled than intended but it’s hella fun, Shut up.

_’Hey Siri’_   


_‘Az?’_

 

_’no Siri I need Siri’_

 

_‘Aziraphale u idiot it’s me’_

 

_‘Crowley?’_

 

_‘Yes, angel what r u trying to do?’_

 

_’I wanted to ask Siri how to bake a cheesecake’_

 

_‘of course’_

 

_‘do you know how to do that?’_

 

_‘Just use google’_

 

_‘hey, google’_

 

_‘stop speaking to the phone’_

 

_‘how do you make a cheese wait no this isn’t what I wanted I wanted cheesecake I didn’t want to text Crowley don’t’_

 

_‘Im turning my phone off’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ily! Thanks for reading!!


	4. Dinner date

_’would you like to come over for dinner?’_

 

_’love 2 angel, give me 10’_

 

_‘what?’_

 

_‘Ten minutes’_

 

_‘what’s the 2 for?’_

 

_‘2 means too’_

 

_‘oh okay’_

 

_..._

 

_’would you like 2 come over 4 dinner?’_

 

_‘Exactly’_

 

_‘I don’t like it’_

 

_‘of course u don’t, c u soon angel’_

 

_‘what?’_


	5. Phone call appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale wants to call Crowley, so of course he has to check his demon is free.

_’Crowley?’_

 

_‘Yes angel’_

 

_‘can I call you?’_

 

_‘Yes? Y don’t you just call me?’_

 

_’I wanted to make sure you were in’_

 

_‘it’s a mobile phone Aziraphale’_

 

_‘right well, I’ll call you in a little while’_

 

_‘I'm waiting with baited breath’_

 

_..._

 

_’what’s so important u can’t txt me anyway?’_

 

_‘I just wanted to talk, I could text you instead?’_

 

_‘No, i’d Like 2 talk’_

 

_‘give me a few minutes’_


	6. Are you drunk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley receives odd texts, Aziraphale sends them—what’s new?

_’morning sunshine’_

 

_‘it’s 10pm Az’_

 

_‘no it’s not’_

 

_‘it is, the times right there’_

 

_’where?’_

 

_‘Top of the screen’_

 

_‘Well, evening sunshine!’_

 

_‘Good evening angel’_

 

_‘guess what?’_

 

_‘What?’_

 

_‘Ive had jello shots !!!!!!!!!!!!’_

 

_‘Jello shots? Look at u go, y wasn’t I invited?’_

 

_‘Book club’_

 

_‘ur book club had Jello shots?’_

 

_‘I think it was someone’s birthday, i can’t remember now’_

 

_‘u r at home aren’t u?’_

 

_‘Yes, I’ve been making jello shots’_

 

_‘oh dear’_

 

_‘no, not oh dear! Oh yeah!!’_

 

_‘I fail 2 see what about u making jello shots is good’_

 

_‘you can have some when you come for dinner tomorrow, do you want some?’_

 

_‘Maybe’_

 

_‘maybe!! Only maybe!!’_

 

Crowley jumped, his phone suddenly ringing in his hands. He eyed the picture of Aziraphale on a tartan picnic blanket for a moment before picking up; 

 

“maybe!” Aziraphale’s voice was slurred and sounded a mix between upset and angry-although the anger wasn’t convincing. 

 

“You know I invented Jello shots right?” Crowley grinned, leaning back against his uncomfortable sofa.

 

”No I didn’t know that” Aziraphale scoffed “it’s probably against the rules”

 

”rules shmules” Crowley chuckled 

 

“oh your right!” Aziraphale giggled, a giggle that warmed Crowley from the inside out “do you want to come over and help me make them?” He slurred 

 

“i’d Love too” Crowley stood up, grabbing the keys to his Bentley “what flavours do you have?” He questioned, listening to Aziraphale’s busy hum. 

 

“Orange” he landed “I'm going to hang up now dear, how long will you be?” he giggled to himself a little.

 

crowley didn’t get a chance to reply as the line went dead; he also didn’t have a chance to make jello shots as the angel was curled up asleep on the sofa when he arrived. Aziraphale woke up to a clean kitchen and a blanket wrapped around him.

 


	7. Group chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadwell creates a group chat, no one agrees to be in it-But what’s new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fantastic idea of a group chat from doesitsay . Go check out their works!

_witchfinder65: present and correct?_

 

_Principality4004: what is this?_

 

_AnathemaD: why am I here?_

 

_Witchfinder65: this is the official witch finder army working in cahoots with the occult to stop the world ending group chat._

 

_snake91: the what? Shadwell y am I here?_

 

_Principality4004: this is not what I had in mind when you said I needed a ‘whatsApp’ account._

 

_Salamander: can’t talk long, will break phone, Didn’t know Shadwell would do this._

 

_MadamT: where are my reading glasses?_

 

_witchfinder65: kitchen cabinet._

 

_MadamT: would you stop putting them there?_

 

_Principality4004: terribly sorry, Shadwell what’s the point of all this?_

 

_Witchfinder65: in case of an emergency, world ending or otherwise, you’ll all be needing my help._

 

_Snake91: I’m leaving._

 

_AnathemaD: what exactly did you do to help?_

 

_Witchfinder65: I did plenty lassie! I expelled a demon with my bare hands!_

 

_Principality4004: for the last time I’m an angel!_

 

_Snake91: u didn’t expel a thing, u discorporated him accidentally!_

 

_Principality4004: thank you dear._

 

_snake91: shut up._

 

_MadamT: you really shouldn’t be so mean dear._

 

_Snake91: **is typing**_

 

_principality4004: Crowley stop typing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight format change because it’s a group chat and who tf could make sense of it if it was written like the others sksk.


	8. Snapchat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This seems like it will be a bad idea, Crowley doesn’t realise that until it’s too late.

_ ‘Crowley dear?’  _

 

_ ‘Az u ok?’ _

 

_ ‘I’m fine, perfect actually’ _

 

_ ‘Did u need something’ _

 

_ ‘Yes actually, what’s a snapchat?’ _

 

_ ‘An app, young people use it’ _

 

_ ‘Can I use it?’  _

 

_ ‘If u want’  _

 

_ ‘How?’  _

 

_ ‘Can I tell you over dinner?’ _

 

_ ‘That would be lovely, the Ritz?’  _

 

_ ‘Pick you up at 8’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading bby!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading lovely! This is crack but it’s super fun to write. 
> 
> Kudos and comments keep me warm and fed!! Ily!!


End file.
